MK vs. DCU Review

WARNING: This blog is more profane than usual, so if you're easily offended I advise you don't read it.

EDIT:Don't worry, I'll post something on unicorns for those easily offended people so you can read that, I did not write this post, btw ~David

As a child I have been a large fan of Mortal Kombat, but as soon as I heard of the new game I felt like pulling my hair out. As you may know, genius game designer turned fucktard Ed Boon is trying to hide the fact that he has run out of ideas by making a dumbass crossover. I fear reviewing this, but it must be done.

Logic

I'm writing about this because of the numerous amount of "logic fails" in the game. The most obvious one is how Superman can be defeated so easily, and while they say it is because he has a weakness to magic, that still doesn't explain why WonderWoman doesn't just throw them to kingdom come or why Batman doesn't just break their arms. And how come Catwoman is able to defeat Superman? It's total BS. And how can Deathstroke's bullets harm Superman? He's fucking bullet proof you dipshits!

0.5/10

Story

Watching your favorite franchises being torn apart by Ed "George Lucas" Boon is like having your dick cut off, have it barfed on, raped and pissed on, being forced to eat it, barf it out, eat the barf, and continue this for 5 hours. Let me explain the story to you:
Characters from MK and DC are being transported to each others universes. Then they fight each other. Then they realize that the universe is being torn apart. Then they fight each other. Then they realize that if they don't do something about it the universe is doomed. Then they fight each other. then the Ghostbusters appear, fix the problem, and they all jolly fuck themselves.

4/10

Gameplay

Since most of this stuff you can get from Mortal Kombat Armageddon I'll just review the new features:

Close Kombat

I really don't understand how you can find going up close and taking turns bitch-slapping each other fun, but you know what? FUCK YOU.

Freefall Kombat

This feature would be fine if it weren't for one thing: SUPERHEROES CAN FLY. And again if you find this fun, FUCK YOU.

Test your might

I'm not even gonna bother to review this button-mashing extravaganza.

6/10

Overall

1.05

Epic Fail

Conclusion

I am honestly sick of this franchise being ruined. So here's my plan, Ed Boon admits he's run out ideas, we all that Mortal Kombat 2 was the MK game, and we get on with our lives.