50 Ways to be a Jackass Pt. 1

1. Pierce your nipples, spray paint your chest pink, and run around the streets with your shirt off shouting "I love Whoopee Goldberg!"

2. Go to a bar, walk up to anyone with a beard, say "You want a piece of this!", air hump, then moonwalk out of the building.

3. Repeat this process, only with an old lady.

4. Run around Pacific Mall shouting "I don't belong here! I'm not cheap!".

5. Repeatedly try to get on Oprah by saying you were born without elbows.

6. Go into any restaurant with a sign saying "Bathroom is for customers only.", run in shouting "Diarrhea!", go to the bathroom, and run out saying "HA! HA! I WAS JUST TAKING A LEAK!" . For the rest of the day act as if you did something badass.

7. Buy a pizza from Costco, take a dump on it, then try to return it.

8. If you succeed try to do this at every branch in your area.

9. Go to anyplace where there are emos, and try to fit by attempting to give yourself paper cuts.

10.Try to get into the Special Olympics by saying you were born without elbows.