The Complete Twilight Review.

Personally, I have no idea as to why girls go over-the-top crazy about this film. In my opinion, the film, author, and series are overrated. The whole writing style drives most sane people crazy and the film had the most horrible acting since Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. I will be judging the "epic saga" on three scales (books, author, and movie) and bring an average.

The Books:
Twilight + series has been successful around the world with many females and male homosexuals. In my experience, there is not one redeeming factor that saves it from being the absolute garbage that it is. The series in itself is way too long. I, myself, don't want to read 500 pages about some masochistic teenager and her adventures. And to drive my point further, almost a quarter of the book is describing how hot Edward is.

As a reader and part-time literary analyzer, I like to relate to the characters. In Twilight, however, I find myself not wanting to relate to some overly sexy and shiny beast, his siblings, and an emo. In several cases, Edward admits to stalking Bella, by watching her in her sleep and following her on her dates. I find it hard to believe that girls everywhere want an "Edward". I have compiled a list of why Edward is undesirable.
1) He is always awake. How are you to cuddle up with a guy who's always awake. Awkward.
2)He is freezing. See the cuddling issue.
3)He cannot be seen in the sun for he sparkles. Have fun on a date when it is raining.
4)He admits to watching his "prey" in their sleep. Uh oh.

The "hidden message" in Twilight is that if you love the first guy you meet (and granted he has to be at least decent and shiny:D), barely make it out of high school, and then drop out of the academic world, marry him, get pregnant before you are twenty, you will have the greatest life ever. Several twi-hards say that this a "parent-friendly" book, but I don't think that most parents want their daughters (or gay sons) growing up and fulfilling what Twilight tells them to; I say most because some parents might want this to happen as they are seventeen and have read Twilight.

All in all, I prefer a book that is not driven by the fact that one character is hot.
Book Rating: 15%
The Movie:
In my opinion, making a movie that is based on a crap book is not going to fare well in review scores but there are some exceptions. Several reviewers gave the movie 10/10's and 100%'s for no good reason. The movie did fare well in box office, mainly because several girls go watch it 15 times, and as of 11/30/08, the movie made $119,688,000. But compared to say Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith ($850,000,000) and Titanic ($1,800,000,000) this is nothing. Granted, Twilight has only been out for a week but I am sure that it won't even come close to Titanic. But enough about the box office.

There is not much more to say about the movie as it is basically a summary of the book. But even Twilight fans disagree about the movie, they say it is not book-accurate. I say, screw that. In my opinion, the next three movies should be called as such,
1)Twilight: The Jacob Menace.
2)Twilight: The Return of the Victoria.
3)Twilight: The Volturi Strikes Back.

Movie Rating: 8%, same as how much I spent on it, $8

Author Review.
Coming strictly as a bystander, Stephenie Meyer seems a little bit over the top. She is a Morman (which personally, is a little weird) and her story is coming from her dream. This means that she thought about it once and did not think about it afterwards. She also seems to like her money alot, why else would she write 4 books and 1 unnecessary one? The unnecessary one being Twilight in Edward's opinion. She dissapoints me.

Author Rating: 23% Which is the same amount of people I personally know who are obsessed with her

Overall Score: 15.3%