Spread the word

Just a reminder to everyone to try to spread this blog around, tell your friends, cousins etc. The more the merrier.

New Moon Trailer Released, Already!?!

Hey guys! When I said that I wouldn't post on Christmas, I meant it. But I have to say, these are not normal circumstances. I have received news that the New Moon trailer has been released already. I understand that movies usually release their trailers months before the movies come out but Twilight just came out. Once you see the trailer for yourself, you will puke as well.

EDIT: I gave the wrong link. Here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNYK9RKc0rA

I'm pooped. David

Hayao Miyazaki

Who excactly is the guy in the title? Well, obviously, this person is Japanese. But who is he?
Hayao Miyazaki is the magic behind absolutely amazing animated movies, the highest grossing in Japan. If you haven't already guessed, he is the director of movies such as Sprited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, and Princess Mononoke.

Never heard of them? Well then, you are missing out on unbelievable experiences. Don't judge a movie by its poster, these movies truly are spectacular.

What's so great about them? Well, EVERYTHING. That's right. His works are virtually perfect, from the music and sounds to the expressions on characters' faces. But best of all has to the plots. It's amazing how different the main character is by the end of the movie than at the beginning. With twists and turns almost everywhere you wouldn't expect, the plot will keep you excited until the credits scroll by.

But although the plots may be different, there are some attributes that all the movies share. All of them have a magical element to them. All of them have a discovery feel to them, as the characters are introduced to new areas and worlds. And most importantly, all of them will have you wanting more.

All in all, these movies are just great! I recommend these to anyone, really. Just watch them! What's the worst case scenario? Besides, I'm sure you'll like it!

-Michael
goombainthepark@gmail.com

Poll Winner: Hannah Montana!

Here' s a shoutout to everyone who voted. It appears that Hannah Montana won. The final review will be posted on January 10th, 2009. On January 5th, a preview will be posted. Thanks again for voting and a new poll should be up soon.

~David

MK vs. DCU Review

WARNING: This blog is more profane than usual, so if you're easily offended I advise you don't read it.

EDIT:Don't worry, I'll post something on unicorns for those easily offended people so you can read that, I did not write this post, btw ~David

As a child I have been a large fan of Mortal Kombat, but as soon as I heard of the new game I felt like pulling my hair out. As you may know, genius game designer turned fucktard Ed Boon is trying to hide the fact that he has run out of ideas by making a dumbass crossover. I fear reviewing this, but it must be done.

Logic

I'm writing about this because of the numerous amount of "logic fails" in the game. The most obvious one is how Superman can be defeated so easily, and while they say it is because he has a weakness to magic, that still doesn't explain why WonderWoman doesn't just throw them to kingdom come or why Batman doesn't just break their arms. And how come Catwoman is able to defeat Superman? It's total BS. And how can Deathstroke's bullets harm Superman? He's fucking bullet proof you dipshits!

0.5/10

Story

Watching your favorite franchises being torn apart by Ed "George Lucas" Boon is like having your dick cut off, have it barfed on, raped and pissed on, being forced to eat it, barf it out, eat the barf, and continue this for 5 hours. Let me explain the story to you:
Characters from MK and DC are being transported to each others universes. Then they fight each other. Then they realize that the universe is being torn apart. Then they fight each other. Then they realize that if they don't do something about it the universe is doomed. Then they fight each other. then the Ghostbusters appear, fix the problem, and they all jolly fuck themselves.

4/10

Gameplay

Since most of this stuff you can get from Mortal Kombat Armageddon I'll just review the new features:

Close Kombat

I really don't understand how you can find going up close and taking turns bitch-slapping each other fun, but you know what? FUCK YOU.

Freefall Kombat

This feature would be fine if it weren't for one thing: SUPERHEROES CAN FLY. And again if you find this fun, FUCK YOU.

Test your might

I'm not even gonna bother to review this button-mashing extravaganza.

6/10

Overall

1.05

Epic Fail

Conclusion

I am honestly sick of this franchise being ruined. So here's my plan, Ed Boon admits he's run out ideas, we all that Mortal Kombat 2 was the MK game, and we get on with our lives.

Happy Holidays!

Hey! This is David from the JDM blog. Although we will be continuing operations through the break, I won't be posting until December 27th. So I would like to wish everyone a safe and wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Tim-Day! If you have any comments, do not paste comments here, email me at thejdmblog@gmail.com

Have a good Christmas!
~David
The JDM Blog
thejdmblog@gmail.com

Leafs Win 7-3 over the Penguins! 12/20/08

After the Leafs's loss in Boston two nights ago, Ron Wilson tried to get the players re-energized for the next game against Sidney Crosby and the Penguins. The offense was not a problem at all in Boston, scoring 5 goals, but the defence and goaltending was just attrocious. Toskala got yanked in the first 5 minutes of the game, letting in 2 goals.

But the Leafs bounced back form the wild game, and just obliterated the Penguins, outscoring them 5-1 and out shooting them 33-13 at the second intermission. Jeremy Williams picks up another goal after begin called back from the Marlies. I'm getting a really good feeling about Jeremy Williams, hes already got 4 goals in 5 games! And congratulations to Jonas Frogren for getting his first goal of his NHL career. Antropov and Kaberle both pick up another 3 point night.

Don Cherry was actually pissed at the Leafs after their win, because they weren't getting physical enough after their huge lead. Maxime Talbot started shoving Niklas Hagman around and Talbot eventually took off the gloves while Hagman kept them ON and kept his head down as Talbot threw punches at this face. Later on Crosby starts to shove and exhange some words with Grabovski, but he just skated away. That was probably why the Penguins felt good about the game although they lost. After that Don Cherry quoted "They might have won a battle, but they'll lost the war if they keep playing like this."

I think all the Leafs need to do is focus on winning games right now, and gainning some ground in the Eastern Conference, they currently sit at 11th place. But they have won 4 out of their last 5! I hope they keep this up for the rest of the season so they could break their playoff slump

"What do you want reviewed?" Contest winner: Jonas Brothers!

First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone who voted on our poll. As promised, a Jonas Brothers review has been put up. It is as below. I had the joy of reviewing it. Thank you!
~David

____________________________________________________________________

Jonas Brothers are, right now, the most popular boyband in America. But there is more to the boyband than it seems. Although several fans refuse to believe this, the Jonas Brothers are just one of Disney's tools, as was Hilary Duff, Miley/Hannah and Aaron Carter, to drive up more viewings. And so it seems that way. In a conducted survey, 3/4 adolescents have heard and enjoyed a Jonas Brothers song and have watched a Disney Show in the past 24 hours. I will now give a down-to-earth review on them.

The music:
The Jonas Brothers try and fail to succeed in making music. In a sample of their guitar tabs:
e--7-7--7-7--7-7--10-10--10-10-10-10
B--7-7--7-7--7-7--10-10--10-10-10-10
G--7-7--7-7--7-7--11-11--11-11--11-11
D--------------------------------------
A--------------------------------------
E--------------------------------------
~Burnin' Up Tabs provided in part by Ultimate-Guitar.com
This repeats 36x throughout the whole song. I bet that even some one who has only been playing for one week could play this. Compare the Jo Bros with some Judas Priest (first quality band that came to my head):
e--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E55556666888855556666888855668855668855668855668856
~Painkiller Tabs provided in part by 911tabs.com
My friend, this is only the "interlude".
Guitar: C

The vocals are very whiny and are displeasing to listen to. And although several females claim that the Jonas Brothers have good vocals, take a look at one of their "best" song's chorus

I'm slipping into the lava
And I'm trying to keep from going under
Baby You turn the temperature hotter
'Cause I'm burnin' up
Burnin' up For you baby
What kind of lyrics are that? Compare it to something that actually has meaning. Again this is the first thing that came to my head.

World We Know - Crash Parallel

And the mention of God, makes me strange
The battle of words and the wars we wage.
And the castles of time, we build up straight
Just to run out of room so we build sideways

And sometimes at the feel, my blood runs cold.

Please, take the time and compare the two. What do you see?
Vocals: D-

The bass is almost non-existent.
If it is there, it is just a repetition of a G/C combination. Example: GGGGCCCCGGGGCCCC and so on and so forth.
Bass: F

The drums are so simple that I could play them and all I've ever played is Rock Band. The Jonas Brothers' rhythm is just the basic high-hat+snare+bass drum rhythm that almost anyone can play.
Drums: C-

The attitude:
The Jonas Brothers know that they are popular and they will sell out wherever they go and yet they seem to charge as much as $100 per concert. I don't think I have to continue.
Attitude:D

Overall, I am displeased with the Jonas Brothers. In fact, I think that a more appropriate name would be the Va-Jonas Bros or the Jo Hoes.

Overall Score: C-/D+

Winter Break!

Oh man, what a crazy way to end the year!

The last day of school, and there's this huge snow storm! Woot!

That was fun! apart from the blistering cold and roaring winds, of course! Yaaay! :D

Well, I'd just like to wish everyone a super-fantastic and merry Christmas, as well as a ultra-monster-dragon-fighter-abulous New Years! Enjoy your winter break!

-Michael
goombainthepark@gmail.com

Kids Kitchen Sucks; Here's Why

If you're Canadian, then you may know of a school lunch service called Kids Kitchen. Some people like these guys, some people don't (hopefully most of them don't). Here's why I don't order anymore.

5. Cheap

They're so penny-pinching that they took away the old, better-quality bags and replaced them with thrift paper bags. Moreover, they now refuse to put coloured ink on their stickers that identify which student the bag is to go to. Most importantly though, they charge you for everything they can possibly charge you for whether it's cancelling an order or getting small things such as pickles and sour cream.

4. Small Portions

The food containers may seem OK but consider the fact that barely half of it comes filled. Plus, the snacks that they offer slowly shrink in size (there are 1.5 inch cookies).

3. Inadequate

Kids Kitchen isn't exactly anybody's idea of fine dining. Bagels with cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches aren't very appealing to me. You need energy for school and Kids Kitchen definitely doesn't provide this.

2. Food Sucks

Half of the stuff they serve is stale food from two weeks ago and I can bet you that employees rarely wash their hands. Why don't I describe to you, their pasta: The sauce is pretty much reddish water, sitting at the bottom; half of the stuff isn't even cooked; it's totally cold; the bit of cheese on top looks like it was made in Christopher Columbus's era.

1. Expensive

A few menu items and the costs:

Potato- $1.50
3 pc sushi- $5.50
Salisbury steak w/ potatoes- $5.00
Juice box- $1.50
Pickle slices- $0.50
0.25 bite brownie- $1.50

Jerry Zhang
toouseful.blogspot

Rock On Forever!

Music these days just isn't as good as it was before. Just listen to some of the lyrics to find out.
"Boys, boys, boys. I control them with my voice"*
"London, London bridge is falling down."**

These examples are just a few of many songs that are little by little, degrading our society. Take for example, Jess (fake name). After she got an iPod and put her favorite music on it, she turned from wanting to be a teacher/doctor to wanting to become a whore.

Also, these days there are no good rock songs. Radio stations such as Z103.5 and CHUM FM promise to give you variety and many genres, but listen to Z103.5 on any given day. I assure you, that the genre is hip-hop or Jonas Brothers. While I sit here on my ass complaining as to why there isn't enough rock, people (most of them girls) come up to me and ask "what about the Jonas Brothers?" I've got an answer. Jonas Brothers can't be considered rock mainly because the singing voice is too comical to be taken seriously. Plus, radio stations don't bother announcing new rock albums but they tell you about Kresha Turner's new album. No one really cares about Kresha Turner.

Furthermore, the rock songs that are popular are deemed "Flavor of the Month" meaning that people won't remember them in three-four months' time. Does anyone still remember Panic! At the Disco or Mariana's Trench anymore? Yesterday, I remembered listening to Head to Head on z103.5 (Head to Head is where to songs compete to see which one is better). The songs were Troublemaker by Weezer and Boys by Ashlee Simpson. Troublemaker was an adequate song whereas Ashlee just sings about the fact that she's slutty gets her boys fast. The winner: Ashlee. Why? Many female music fans were reluctant to vote for a male group.

Overall, music is becoming shittier than ever before and I guess that we will just have to tolerate this.

An Important Moment in Canadian History!!!


Dec. 15 2:30 pm

Stephen Harper finally realizes that the 2008 Federal Election was waste of money.

Reminder to vote!!!

As of now, there is only 23 more hours until the poll closes! So vote now!

I Think I'm Dying

Oh my god!!!!

My Chinese school had a party and people were supposed to perform and stuff. It was fun (in terms of Chinese school), people were playing flutes and stuff, but then some guy went up and started sing Jonas Brothers!!! And if that's not enough, he has this horrible voice! Arrrgghhh!!!
Dammit! I felt a part of my soul die that night. And what's worse, people were actually clapping for him!!!! Aarrrrrrgggghhhhh!!

Don't be surprised if I show up at school as a zombie tomorrow.

-Michael
goombainthepark@gmail.com

5 Reasons You Shouldn't Use an iPod

5. Apple

Come on. You've got to be kidding me. Don't buy things from the company that made the friggin' Mac and uses vicious marketing techniques to get you to buy. Plus, we all know that Steve Jobs is plotting to one day take over the world; don't support him.

4. Confusing

With all the licensing crap and complex features and 30-page instruction manuals, it'll be a few years before you can really use your iPod.

3. Addicting

Once you get a small iPod Shuffle, you'll want to move up to an iPod Nano, to an iPod Touch and soon to the iPhone. This is exactly what Apple is trying to get you to do. You won't be able to stop throwing money at iPods and soon every birthday, christmas and whatever else present will be iPod-related.

2. Expensive

$0.99 per song on iTunes is more than a real-life album. As well, because of the massive popularity of iPods, Apple makes them especially expensive. Then, there's the applications if you own an iPod Touch or iPhone.

1. There are better MP3 players

Some people may not appreciate the beauty of the Microsoft Zune or other MP3 players but it's true that there are more advanced ones.

Jerry Zhang
toouseful.blogspot.com

Lesser known Great Games #2

The Game

It's good, just play it.

http://armorgames.com/play/2619/the-game

The Lesser Known Great Games #1

I've had my share of great games when I was a kid, but it's kind of hard to compete with N these on the grounds the inter net, but I remember great games from the beginning of the millennium, take Lenny Loosejocks in Space for example, a great point click adventure with a huge world to explore.
The game starts off at the end off the previous game, Lenny Walkabout, (I'll blog about this later) when he gets through the minefield and into a secret chamber, it is there where he is sent to the future and meets up with his with his long down the road descendant, Leeroy Loosejocks, it is here that he tells him that the fate of the Solar System rests in his hands, and he must set out to defuse a bomb on every planet in solar system.
With nine planets (and one moon) to explore your lust for giant environment is satisfied. The only problem with this game is that it is hard, but reading the walkthrough luckily doesn't take away from the gameplay.
9/10
http://www.ezone.com/games/space/

The JDM Blog First Annual Christmas Giveaway

As we are feeling generous, this year we have decided to giveaway an iTunes giftcard worth $15. All you have to do is email us at thejdmblog@gmail.com with the subject headline as "2008 JDM Blog Giveaway". What you have to do is email us your favorite Christmas memories. Deadline is Saturday, December 12, 2008. From Sunday to Wednesday, we will have a poll as to who won. This will be public. The winners will be announced next Thursday. One entry per person. You will need to submit your name with your entry. More than one entry will result in disqualification. Best of luck!
~David + Staff

Extra thank you to Sportsbets for providing the card.

2008 Holiday Giveaway Contest Rules!

Official Rules

No Purchase Required to Enter or Win

1. Eligibility: The JDM Blog Giveaway are open only to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (including the District of Columbia) and Canada (excluding Quebec) and are 10 years of age or older. All U.S., federal, state and local and Canadian federal, provincial, and municipal laws and regulations apply. Void in Quebec, Puerto Rico and where prohibited by law.
2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Giveaway constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.
3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Giveaway (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Giveaway site.
4. Entry: To enter a Giveaway, follow the instructions on the Giveaway site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Giveaway will be posted on the applicable Giveaway site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.
5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, Sponsor will select the names of the potential winners in a poll of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Giveaway will be posted on the applicable Giveaway site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, the Sponsor may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Giveaway.
6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Except where prohibited, the potential winners may be required to complete and return an affidavit of eligibility and liability/publicity release (the “Affidavit/Release”) within seven (7) days of being notified. If a potential winner fails to sign and return the Affidavit/Release within the required time period, an alternate entrant will be selected in his/her place in a random drawing of all entries received. In the event the potential winner of any prize is a Canadian resident, he/she will be required to correctly answer a time-limited mathematical question to be administered by email/mail to receive the prize.
7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Giveaway will be posted on the Giveaway site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize.
8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Giveaway is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Giveaway to address the impairment and then resume the Giveaway in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Giveaway or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Giveaway may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.
9. Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Giveaway, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Giveaway Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Giveaway or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Giveaway; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Giveaway or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Giveaway or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Giveaway Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Giveaway, and in no event shall the Giveaway Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.
10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Giveaway or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action, and exclusively by the appropriate court located in the Commonwealth of Virginia. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Giveaway, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.
11. Giveaway Results: To request the name of the winners, send an email to David Yun at thejdmblog@gmail.com
    

December 8th, 2008

Hello everyone. I'd like all of you to just stop for a minute and think. This day, December 8, 28 years ago, the world stood in silence. In 1980, in front of the Dakota in New York, one of the greatest -- no, the greatest musician in history, was shot and killed. Yes, if you haven't already guessed, I am talking about John Lennon. One of the most influencial people in history, 28 years ago, was assassinated.

No joke. I'd like you to take the time to do a little research as to who he was, and what he did. His actions and his songs still resonate to this very day, and will continue to do so for a long, long time. He may seem distant, but to many people around the world, he was a true inspiration.

And although his death was a cruel one, it fueled millions of people to accomplish what he longed for: peace.

Truly a great soul, you can learn more about him through books, movies, and other sources. He was someone who many looked up on, and I encourage you to learn more about his life, from his fatherless childhood to the rise and fall of the Beatles.

Thanks for your time.
-Michael
goombainthepark@gmail.com

Hurry and vote on our poll!!!

Just as a reminder there is only one week to vote on our poll so hurry!

In Memory of Ted Rogers (1933-2008)

OK, I'm going to lay off of the petty jokes and remarks today go to a more serious side.
All of Canada has been shaken by the death of Ted Rogers, the former President and CEO of Rogers Communications. He was the one who brought this empire to the place where it is today.
He was described by friends as somebody who persevered and who never gave up and was always thinking of ways to improve himself and his company. His passing yesterday has been mourned by people all across this nation from the MLB stars from the Toronto Blue Jays to his employees at Rogers Communications.

Ted Rogers was somebody who I looked up to growing up because of his good-natured spirit, diligence and wisdom. I aspired to make myself as much like him as possible simply because of all the positive traits that he possessed.
And I express my condolences to the Rogers family and am sorry for their great loss.

Jerry
toouseful.blogspot.com

It's Plastic! That Means It's Waterproof!

Before I start off this post, I'd just like to say what a great blog this is. It's funny, misleading -- what more could you want? Keep up the good work!

Anyways, back to the main issue.


CROCS
The word strikes fear into people's heart when it is heard. Yes, starting in 2002, the brand of footwear (if you can call it that) is an ugly, unnatural, and, above all, hideous excuse for a... sandal?
Crocs are one of the worst ideas ever, and I'll tell you why you should never buy one (or, in this case, three, as they come in trios).


The Material
To start this off, let's look at the basics. This shoe is made of PLASTIC. Who in the right mind would want to wear plastic? Plastic is the stuff you use as garbage bags and CD cases, not something you wear, and yet, almost anywhere you look, you can find people who think it is fashionable. Whoever came up with the idea to make a shoe with plastic must have been really desperate, as it it flexible, loose-fitting, and can be cut. When was the last time you could cut up a shoe using scissors? Then again, Crocs aren't really shoes.

The Fashion
Crocs are hideous. It's true. It doesn't matter what colour they come in, what size, or how many stickers you put on it, it will always and forever be a horrible choice of fashion. The shape of the Croc is and eye sore as it is unnatural. Crocs usually come in bright, vibrant colours such as pink or neon green, which is worse than wearing a bright green shirt with purple polka dots. Much worse. When I asked someone why they wore Crocs, one of their responses was that they were waterproof. Waterproof? Are you kidding me? I don't know why, probably because your feet can't breathe through plastic, but for some reason, Crocs have holes them. Why?! So much for being waterproof. In fact, it is common that people will put stickers over these holes to cover them up and to try to make them look better, but all it does is make it look worse. But of course, if you are a changster, then Crocs are the ones for you. Otherwise, steer clear or else you'll deserve a, as we like to call it, mort de feu.

The Safety
Sure, none of our shoes are steel-toed, but that's because we don't wear them in construction sites. But if this is the case, why do people wear Crocs in malls, on the street, and at school? The material that Crocs are made out of is a flexible, bendable plastic. What a horrible idea! If you wanted to, you could easily cut them up with a normal pair of scissors! (You can try it at home and video tape yourself doing it if you have a spare pair (trio) of Crocs lying about and post a link in the comments!) But that's something else. I'm sure you've heard of stories and news reports about people wearing Crocs getting injured because of the properties of the Croc. I'm pretty sure everyone has heard about them. And yet, wherever you go you can see people wearing them. If you are one of these people, STOP WEARING THEM. Not only do they look bad and are socially unacceptable, but they are also of health concerns!

The End
So now you know the whole deal with Crocs, and how you should never buy or wear one (or three) (unless of course you are, or are pretending to be, a changster). In fact, you should spread the news of this (and this blog) to everyone you know. Tell them everything you've read about today and make sure you make fun of (secretly or in their face, your pick) anyone who wears Crocs, as it should be against the law to wear the foul sandals.

Thanks for taking some time to read about the Crocs!

-Michael
goombainthepark@gmail.com

No Hardcore games, and other reasons why I hate my DS

When I was a kid, I had no systems at all. So when I got $100 for my birthday the first thing I asked my mom for is a DS. Now since I was kid, I thought that it would be a load of fun every time I opened that DS up, but in return, I got UTTER BULLCRAP. The first game I got was Brain Age (it was the only way my mom would me buy one) and it was boring as crap. The only people that would like the game is

A: old people or

B: retards who want to feel smart

Then I got Pokemon, not because I thought it would be fun, but I was peer-pressured, and this was also, well, BULLCRAP. Not only is it stupid and gay (this is my opinion, I just enjoy hardcore games more than this) but as soon as you mention you have this game to someone who also has this game they start asking what Pokemon you have, what level they are, and some more crap. Some people even act superior to you if they're better at the game than you.
I bet you're thinking "why don't you just get new games?" Well... getting a game for the DS is like going through an assortment of hideous monkeys, and then choosing one to give you a blow job. I mean as soon as I see the DS game section I see I a licensed game of a cartoon show that only my retarded 8 year old cousin likes, a spin-off of a Japanese video game series I never even heard, and another Pokemon game (Godammit).I know there are some good games on the DS like N+ or GTA: Chinatown Wars, but still, if you like hardcore games, just get a PSP.

Rant on Supply Teachers.

By far, out of all the flaws in our education system, the supply teacher is the worst. These subs are usually completely oblivious to what we are currently learning and have poor English language skills with of course, some exceptions. But the chances of getting a "cool" substitute teacher are 1/27. There are two things that stand out in my stance against supply teachers and they are listed below.

1.Irrelevant Work.
Usually when supply teachers come, they give worksheets that we have already done or we watch a completely irrelevant film on a crappy-ass television. For instance, a few weeks ago, we were to be doing a test but instead the supply teacher spent 15 minutes looking for the tests, which just happened to be right in front of her. Some say that this is good and that we get to slack off but I beg to differ. We are spending our tax moneys paying complete crackpots like her.

2.Foreign Ethnicity
I probably will get my ass kicked for saying this but when supply teachers pronounce children as "chirun" and mispronounce half of our names, it is a major inconvenience. And not only that, when they are teaching, I just completely tune out on whatever they are saying. But the most ridiculous thing about this topic is that when they get angry, it is very hard to understand what they are telling you to do and the next thing you know, your teacher is pissed at you the next day.

A way to remedy this is by providing proper substitute teacher training, instead of rushing them out the door and making bad ones breed like rabbits. But like all bad things there are one or two good things and in this case, it is Mr. Hoffman and that other cool one whose name slips my mind.

I Hope This Pisses You Off as Much as it Does Me...

Quickly open a new tab (I hope you're using INTERNET EXPLORER 7, not any lower version or Mozilla, which is as low as you can go, or the unmentionable Google Chrome, which is lower than lowest) and go to Google. Run two searches: Miley Cyrus, then Barack Obama. Be careful to look at the right of the light blue bar below the search bar; it'll show you how many search results there are of a specific term.
Unless you're stupid, you will realize that Miley Cyrus has four friggin' times the number of listings as Barack Obama. Dude, do you know how messed up that is?
If you're a crazy adolescent girl who goes insane every time a Miley Cyrus song is played on the radio, then stop reading. But if you're normal and don't particularly like this celebrity, keep reading.
OK. Now, here we go on a rant. Do you know who Barack Obama is??? He will be the president of the United States in a month and he has inspired millions of Americans, black, white and yellow, young and old, male and female, to not only vote buy have hope that we may get out of these unpleasant times. He's the guy who actually cares about you instead of singing songs all day about how there's seven things that he hates about this other person. He's the guy who is willing to work to bring back America instead of declaring that all guys want to be flies on the wall.
Do you now see how the media and celebrities are ruining our children and our world. Nobody cares about how they're going to find a job or pay for food when they grow older; they just want to watch episodes of a cheesy show called Hannah Montana starring a spoiled girl who isn't even that hot.
In case you still haven't done what I told you to do at the beginning of this post, "Miley Cyrus" has 24,200,000 listings while "Barack Obama" has just over 6,000,000. That's ridiculous. I'll bet Google has been tampering with something because I don't think that many people would put up content on their websites about this person (learn more at google-sux.com).
Now, you tell me about how pissed off you are.

Jerry
toouseful.blogspot.com

The Worst Job Possible: If You Think Your Life Sucks, Think Again

OK. Maybe your boss is a little evil, you work in the smallest cubicle in the building and your co-workers are all retards but trust me, that's nothing compared to this: The worst job possible. It's (un)official. The worst job possible (that is real, not burrito tester or TV remote controller or something) has to be the person who says, "This program contains coarse language and mature themes. It may not be suitable for all viewers. Viewer discretion is advised," before your favorite show.
I wouldn't say that this is the worst paying job but c'mon, how much can you get doing this? But that's not even close to the worst of it.
Also, what do you think it would feel like having the director tell you that you did it wrong and you have to start over. You'd feel pretty damn dumb. Even worse, if you're fired from this job and you're searching for a new job and the interviewer asks you, "Where did you work before?" and you say, "I was that guy tells people not to watch shows before them." Good luck finding a new job like that.
Let's say you didn't get fired though; you're still getting paid to be a monotonous bore who nobody likes. Then, how the hell are you going to find a girlfriend/boyfriend? In the middle of a date, your habits kick in and you start talking like a robot; that's one of the surest ways to lose someone. I mean you could say you're part of a television show on your eHarmony profile but that's only getting you so far.
Now, let's say somehow, you do get a girl or a guy (mind you, that person would probably not care about you), what other relationships might you have? Who would want to be the friend of that kind of a friggin' person? I bet dogs would even run away. Plus, nobody cares about you; you're just the ignored and unaccepted little loser at school who sits in the corner of the yard all day.
So you think your job is bad? This one's probably a lot worse.

Jerry
toouseful.blogspot.com

The Complete Twilight Review Mistake

It appears that the first paragraph under the heading Movie review is slightly bigger. This somehow cannot be fixed. I apologize.

The Complete Twilight Review.

Personally, I have no idea as to why girls go over-the-top crazy about this film. In my opinion, the film, author, and series are overrated. The whole writing style drives most sane people crazy and the film had the most horrible acting since Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. I will be judging the "epic saga" on three scales (books, author, and movie) and bring an average.

The Books:
Twilight + series has been successful around the world with many females and male homosexuals. In my experience, there is not one redeeming factor that saves it from being the absolute garbage that it is. The series in itself is way too long. I, myself, don't want to read 500 pages about some masochistic teenager and her adventures. And to drive my point further, almost a quarter of the book is describing how hot Edward is.

As a reader and part-time literary analyzer, I like to relate to the characters. In Twilight, however, I find myself not wanting to relate to some overly sexy and shiny beast, his siblings, and an emo. In several cases, Edward admits to stalking Bella, by watching her in her sleep and following her on her dates. I find it hard to believe that girls everywhere want an "Edward". I have compiled a list of why Edward is undesirable.
1) He is always awake. How are you to cuddle up with a guy who's always awake. Awkward.
2)He is freezing. See the cuddling issue.
3)He cannot be seen in the sun for he sparkles. Have fun on a date when it is raining.
4)He admits to watching his "prey" in their sleep. Uh oh.

The "hidden message" in Twilight is that if you love the first guy you meet (and granted he has to be at least decent and shiny:D), barely make it out of high school, and then drop out of the academic world, marry him, get pregnant before you are twenty, you will have the greatest life ever. Several twi-hards say that this a "parent-friendly" book, but I don't think that most parents want their daughters (or gay sons) growing up and fulfilling what Twilight tells them to; I say most because some parents might want this to happen as they are seventeen and have read Twilight.

All in all, I prefer a book that is not driven by the fact that one character is hot.
Book Rating: 15%
The Movie:
In my opinion, making a movie that is based on a crap book is not going to fare well in review scores but there are some exceptions. Several reviewers gave the movie 10/10's and 100%'s for no good reason. The movie did fare well in box office, mainly because several girls go watch it 15 times, and as of 11/30/08, the movie made $119,688,000. But compared to say Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith ($850,000,000) and Titanic ($1,800,000,000) this is nothing. Granted, Twilight has only been out for a week but I am sure that it won't even come close to Titanic. But enough about the box office.

There is not much more to say about the movie as it is basically a summary of the book. But even Twilight fans disagree about the movie, they say it is not book-accurate. I say, screw that. In my opinion, the next three movies should be called as such,
1)Twilight: The Jacob Menace.
2)Twilight: The Return of the Victoria.
3)Twilight: The Volturi Strikes Back.

Movie Rating: 8%, same as how much I spent on it, $8

Author Review.
Coming strictly as a bystander, Stephenie Meyer seems a little bit over the top. She is a Morman (which personally, is a little weird) and her story is coming from her dream. This means that she thought about it once and did not think about it afterwards. She also seems to like her money alot, why else would she write 4 books and 1 unnecessary one? The unnecessary one being Twilight in Edward's opinion. She dissapoints me.

Author Rating: 23% Which is the same amount of people I personally know who are obsessed with her

Overall Score: 15.3%

Basis of how this is gonna work.

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